Number 22 - Hmmmmm

If this said 'try & find the perfect pair of jeans' then today I would give it a big fat tick but have I found them??? Perhaps only time will tell.

Anyway, suffice to say I spent one of the most tedious days of my 40th year on this planet trying.

I left my jolly brood today and headed into Kingston to camp out at a department store until I found a pair with which I could have a lasting and meaningful relationship. I had been given a lead and headed for '7 for all mankind'
Step 1
discard anything that contains the words 'low rise' I have 3 small children, I want tummy safely contained within the jeans!
Step 2
Find my size. Well, nobody told me that jeans are exempt from using 'proper' girl sizing. Waist??????? How do I know how big my waist is??? (and why do you need to know when most of the jeans are obscenely far from your waist?)
Step 3
Guess at waist measurement and take a pair either side for safe measure.
Step 4
Stagger to changing room and git teeth. Hang your dignity on the door along with your coat, because you know the pin thin sales assistant will arrive as you are failing to yank up a pair of jeans 2 sizes too small and disappear before you can ask her to fetch you a different pair.

I tried on 36 pairs of jeans today in 3 different shops and I have made the following discoveries;
1. my waist is in a very odd place! At least, no 'on the waist jeans' sit on my waist. Great, I get to 39 and find out I am deformed! Do you think they do NHS jeans for freaks.

2. Armani jeans and Levi Jeans have different definitions of the term 'inch' as I needed vastly different sizes in each.

3. The only jeans that fit me in some sort of meaningful way are ....... M&S
Chavtastic! I am deformed and middle aged.

So, 36 pairs of jeans and many rude words later I have bought a pair of Armani bootcut jeans (sorry Guy - but not the most expensive I tried on - by a long way) a pair of Levi Skinnies and shhhh a pair of M&S Per Una jeans. I am going to wear one of these every day and take them through the wash and then one of them will be my perfect pair of jeans for life.
Please God let it not be M&S.